A Day I'll Never Forget

My life pretty much revolves around Taylor, Dustin and Quique and although I will never forget the traumatic events (for me) of yesterday, in some ways it was nothing new from the last 7 months. Some of you will read this post and think I'm a total whack job where as others of you will read this and you would have done the exact same thing as me if you were in the same situation.

I know sometimes my posts can get long, but I think that I do need to preface this story. Taylor will always be my firstborn, the child that we prayed for for so long, my very first baby. However in some ways, Quique was my first baby. Dustin and I had always wanted a dog but with him getting his MBA and working long hours and with my demanding job at the time, it didn't make sense. When all of that changed, it was the perfect time and as I see it, we got the perfect dog. The dog was never meant to prepare us for a baby, but I guess in some ways Quique did. I cried the first time I had to leave her and she cried at me. I slept on the floor next to her crate when she would cry at night and (at that time) Dustin didn't let her sleep on the bed. I took her to the vet 4 or 5 times in the first 3 months we had her because I would get so paranoid. I came home for lunch from work every day for about 5 months to let Quique out of her kennel outside and to check on her. Quique has comforted me during some of the biggest struggles in my life over the past couple of years, she has made me laugh and Dustin and I have enjoyed every second we've been able to spend with her.

Yesterday we went to Tanner Park (as mentioned in the post below). This time I wasn't really thinking and we went further than we usually do this time of year. At the end of one of the trails is the beginning of the run off where kids in the summer will come and "shoot the tube". There is a big pool of water and the water right now is coming out incredibly strong. I wasn't really paying attention and not really thinking of just how powerful the current is in that pool and before I knew it, Quique was on her way to swim in there because she always does and how can a Lab resist another pool of water. I tried calling to her to come back because I started to get a little nervous, but once I saw her swimming, I figured she was fine. As Taylor and I made our way to her, I noticed that she had been in the same spot for awhile. That's when I started to get really nervous and calling (more like screaming) to her to come to the side but she wouldn't... more like she couldn't. Quique doesn't swim in one place so I knew something was wrong and she must have been stuck in some sort of eddy. Before I knew it, I was taking off the Baby Bjorn and placing Taylor on my backpack on the ground in between some rocks so that she would be safe and then with my jumpsuit, shoes, cell phone (didn't realize at the time) and all, I was making my way in the water. Even though I have been swimming my whole life, I didn't realize just how strong the water was pushing until I got in. I also hate cold water and can't even begin to explain the temperature of the water because I can't even remember. I finally made my way to Quique and couldn't really swim her over to the side because of the way the water was pushing and pulling so I tried pushing Quique over to the side. But as it looked like she was getting close, the current just sucked her right back in, actually it sucked both of us right back in. After we'd get sucked in, I would try pushing her again, but it was never enough. What felt like hundreds of prayers went through my heart and my mind, I think I even said a few out loud, but I still wasn’t able to get enough leverage to get Quique to the side where she could then pull herself out. I was able to stand on the ground for a little, but right where I needed that last piece of footing, it was a drop off and there was nowhere I could stand. I was starting to swallow water and I was getting really scared. I finally gave Quique another push and it was just enough to get her to the rocks so she could pull herself out. After Quique got out, it even took a few more minutes before I could get myself out. By that time I was exhausted and I think that my body was cramping from the cold so I know without a doubt that it wasn’t me who got my dog to the side and out of the water, I was definitely being watched over.

It was a long walk back to the car and a very wet ride home, but I feel so blessed that we made it. The trauma of it all didn't really hit until the car ride home when I looked in the rear view mirror and saw my two babies... the tears just kept flowing. I was also so proud of Quique. I'm sure she didn't have a clue as to what was going on, and she probably didn't understand why in the world I kept pushing her, but she was so strong swimming and she never gave up... not even for a second. She probably could have swam longer than I could have.

The retelling of the story doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of what I felt, but physically and emotionally, it put me out of commission for the rest of the day and I thought it would help so that I didn't keep replaying the whole ordeal over and over in my head. The other night I was reading a book and there was a quote from Mother Teresa that said "I know God will not give me anything I can't handle, I just wish he didn't trust me so much". I think God knew without a doubt that I couldn't just watch my dog slip before my very own eyes knowing that it was all my fault so I am very grateful to Him that He knew I wasn't strong enough for that.