Happy Birthday to You!

Yesterday we celebrated Taylor turning 1! We started off the morning when Taylor woke up singing "Happy Birthday" and the birthday wishes only continued the whole day through. (Thanks to everyone for the text message and singing telegrams). Dustin worked yesterday so I decided to just do some of her very favorite things. We went to Tanner Park so she could laugh at all of the dogs and watch Quique swim and then we took Taylor to the pool so that she could swim. I don't know if it was because she is a big fan of the pumped up Beach Boys jams (water aerobics class was going on) or if she just missed the pool but she was a splashing mad woman in the pool, just laughing and laughing. And for her evening excursion, since it was the first day of the Utah Football season and she doesn't really get to choose what she wants to do yet... she got to stay up until 11pm and watch the Utes play. She was loving the family sitting behind us and even started reaching for them so she could sit with them (which of course, she did). She was such a good girl and stayed awake through the whole game!

There was too much for Taylor to look at, so she wasn't hamming it up for the camera... Go Utes!

I can so vividly remember a year ago on her birthday. The morning started out with a phone call that we would no longer be meeting with the birth mom we were supposed to meet on September 3rd because she had gone into labor. She hadn't chosen a family to place her baby with so we had no idea what that meant, we were just waiting all day to hear anything. That night I had a youth activity at church. I was getting ready to go and Dustin came running into the parking lot with the biggest smile on his face and I knew. We hadn't been chosen yet to take Taylor, we hadn't met Taylor and we hadn't even met the birth mom, but at the very moment, I knew that we had a baby coming our way. And even though nothing was certain, April and Amy took me to Target (at like 10pm) since we had NOTHING for the baby and to be honest, we didn't even know if we would be getting a baby. And then it was a year ago today that we met Taylor and we got to hold this beautiful angel that God had sent to us. And a year ago tomorrow, we took her home.

I look at the year two years ago compared to this last year. I love Dustin with every ounce of my being, but two years ago was hard. And even with all of that love, there was something missing. I hope I don't offend anyone by getting religious, but this experience has given me an even deeper understanding of Christ's atonement. It's not just about him dying for our sins, he is also there to take away the pain. I know for a fact that I was in a lot of pain emotionally two years ago, I know it, but I don't remember it and I certainly can't even feel it. The moment Taylor was placed in my arms, every little void, gap, anything was filled. I know that there are so many people out there that don't believe in God, but every time I look at Taylor, I am reminded that there is a God, and of the miracle that he entrusted Dustin and I with.

Last night, we were messaging back and forth with Taylor's birth mom. She wanted to post a video and some pictures of Taylor and was asking us about it. You can tell she is just so proud of Taylor. She was telling us how she has shown her friends pictures of Taylor and us as well as emails, etc. and how people have told her that she seemed to have found the perfect couple for Taylor. She completely agreed with them and told them she knew that we were the perfect couple because she was guided to us. Those are certainly some big shoes to fill, but it's what is always driving me to be a better mom and I will always consider Jami our guardian angel. She gave us the most beautiful and self-sacrificing gift that has changed our lives for ever and filled us with such love and joy. There is nothing more beautiful than watching my husband (I love more than anything) continue to fall head over heels in love with his daughter and to watch him become such an amazing dad. I don't think life gets much better than that.